I finally watched Venture Bros season 7
Jan. 7th, 2019 12:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jadislefeuIn summary: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA MY FEELINGS
Alex is hanging over my shoulder whispering POSTPOSTPOSTPOSTPOSTPOSTPOSTPOSTPOST in my ear to 'help'.
Ohhhhh my god. Oh my god. JONAS WAS ALIVE. LIKE THE ENTIRE TIME. FUCKING GARGANTUA-1 AND THE PROBLEM LIGHT. Except now he's not! Now he's actually dead! And--wait, what IS his name... whatever, the Blue Morpho who we knew was alive, people finally realized he was alive, his son saw his face, but now he's dead! They're both dead! Probably. I mean, this is VB, people are obviously great at not being dead, and the OSI demanded Jonas's head--god, please no one bring back Jonas, he was a terrible man, this stuff just showed even more what a terrible man he was, nobody needs more of Jonas Venture Sr. Nobody even needs more of Jonas Venture Jr, but I'd take him by preference if I had to make a choice. Or poor Vendata over either of them.
And fucking! Confirmation that Rusty was cloned too! God, how many times did Jonas fuck up and get his son killed and edit it out of the TV show and grow a new one? Rusty was ungodly lucky with Spanakopita, how many times did that situation happen and go another way? Not like, the L Ron Hubbard robot part, but the Rusty gets kidnapped and Jonas doesn't notice for days or respond to ransom demands part.
And Jonas was BLACKMAILING the Blue Morpho to do what he did, god. His supposed friend. THE ONLY REASON ACTION MAN AND COLONEL GENTLEMAN CAN REMEMBER JONAS FONDLY AND HAVE BEEN FRIENDS WITH HIM ALL THAT TIME IS BECAUSE THEY ARE JUST AS BAD AS HE IS. Or worse. Colonel Gentleman is probably worse, what with the canonical rampant pedophilia. God he's creepy.
Anyway. Man I don't even know the name of that tiny hawk dude that Brock swatted like a literal bug. (Relatedly, oh my god it was so good having Brock back I missed him so much Vatred is just not a substitute. Like, Vatred has grown into being kind of great in his own right, but he is not and will never be Brock Samson. The end of the last episode with all the Guild agents through the teleporter... fucking classic Brock. So good. And the car even!
And fuuuuuuck. Dean! DEAN. Dean's list of things he read to coma Hank and Hank doesn't know and Hank NEEDS to know and "they say you enter the world alone and die alone but we came into the world together" FUCK. BOYS. I MISS YOU BEING CLOSE TOO.
Also, of COURSE we got the name of the boys' mother from a... possibly sort of reliable source... and it's no one we've ever heard of and it means nothing to us.
SHEILA AND NOVIA, FUCK, THAT SCENE WAS SO GOOD
Fucking. Wide Wale's homicidal rage at the Monarch and the OH NO UH WE'RE PLAYING A GAME when his brother turned up. FUCKING TYING DR DUGONG BACK IN THIS HEAVILY.
Malcolm and Sheila's relationship problems
VENDATA MALFUNCTIONING AND TURNING BACK INTO THE BLUE MORPHO???
flails, drags hands down face
And what the shit is up with the blood soaked murder bear that turned up again, who is in that costume, why did they take Hank to Sirena, how the fuck did they KNOW WHERE TO FIND SIRENA
What is with girls being interested in both the Venture twins, anyway
I wonder what Sally's doing? We got nothing of her, or of Richard for that matter. Sally was with JJ before JJ died, wasn't she? I hope she and Rocket are doing good somewhere.
DR Z AND JOHNNY IN THE REHAB JUST BEING AWKWARD AS FUCK
All the old arches, THE DICK MEASURING CONTEST, Red Mantle and Dragoon putting off their envelope for ages but they've outlived all their enemies, aaaaa
Seeing Sheila in her prime as Lady Au Pair arching The Bride or whatever she was called was like, amazing? They expressions on their faces? They looked so happy? Sheila are you even happy anymore, I worry. I know you love Malcolm but he is like seventeen different levels of garbage fire.
FUUUUUCK WATCH AND WARD TELLING HIM THAT THEY'RE RELATED. Probably half brothers, with the flashbacks with the heavy implications that Jonas knocked up Blue Morpho's wife as his "infertility science help".
I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT ALL OF THESE TERRIBLE ASSHOLE IDIOTS WHO ARE TERRIBLE AND HAVE I MENTIONED I LOVE WATCH AND WARD
Also ho shit the guild is brutal, the end of the plotline with... what was he, S-464? and Kimberley McManus. Damn. (Additionally, the Peril Partnership are dumb as fuck if they wear identifying belt buckles, that's so visible.)
THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME BEING LAWN DARTS
THE CREEP BEING LIKE AUGUSTUS ST CLOUD WRT COLLECTING BUT VILLAIN SHIT INSTEAD OF POP CULTURE
A fucking troop of boy scouts, christ
OH ALSO, AUGUSTUS ST CLOUD BEING CONDESCENDED TO AND TROLLED BY MALCOLM AND GARY WAS A THING OF FUCKING BEAUTY. SO WAS HIM BEING BEATEN UP BY ROSE. That was definitely what he needed, he was an outsize annoying menace in previous seasons, especially in Spanakopita, it was good to see him actually being as absurdly pathetic as he truly is. ("Brock, we have a level one arching threat." "You want like, an aspirin?") Him getting the total contempt of a real villain like the Monarch was just. So good. Why does Augustus St Cloud even CARE about Billy Quizboy this much. (Eat the pennies, Quizboy.)
Hank like, fucking dissociating when he's being Enrique or Batman or whatever and also being repeatedly 'well HE has ADHD'
THE "AIR B'N'ME". HANK IS ACTUALLY WEIRDLY GOOD AT BUSINESS AND I DON'T GET IT.
It made me?? Actually like Rocco?? This is very rude??
Just. EVERYTHING.
Alex is hanging over my shoulder whispering POSTPOSTPOSTPOSTPOSTPOSTPOSTPOSTPOST in my ear to 'help'.
Ohhhhh my god. Oh my god. JONAS WAS ALIVE. LIKE THE ENTIRE TIME. FUCKING GARGANTUA-1 AND THE PROBLEM LIGHT. Except now he's not! Now he's actually dead! And--wait, what IS his name... whatever, the Blue Morpho who we knew was alive, people finally realized he was alive, his son saw his face, but now he's dead! They're both dead! Probably. I mean, this is VB, people are obviously great at not being dead, and the OSI demanded Jonas's head--god, please no one bring back Jonas, he was a terrible man, this stuff just showed even more what a terrible man he was, nobody needs more of Jonas Venture Sr. Nobody even needs more of Jonas Venture Jr, but I'd take him by preference if I had to make a choice. Or poor Vendata over either of them.
And fucking! Confirmation that Rusty was cloned too! God, how many times did Jonas fuck up and get his son killed and edit it out of the TV show and grow a new one? Rusty was ungodly lucky with Spanakopita, how many times did that situation happen and go another way? Not like, the L Ron Hubbard robot part, but the Rusty gets kidnapped and Jonas doesn't notice for days or respond to ransom demands part.
And Jonas was BLACKMAILING the Blue Morpho to do what he did, god. His supposed friend. THE ONLY REASON ACTION MAN AND COLONEL GENTLEMAN CAN REMEMBER JONAS FONDLY AND HAVE BEEN FRIENDS WITH HIM ALL THAT TIME IS BECAUSE THEY ARE JUST AS BAD AS HE IS. Or worse. Colonel Gentleman is probably worse, what with the canonical rampant pedophilia. God he's creepy.
Anyway. Man I don't even know the name of that tiny hawk dude that Brock swatted like a literal bug. (Relatedly, oh my god it was so good having Brock back I missed him so much Vatred is just not a substitute. Like, Vatred has grown into being kind of great in his own right, but he is not and will never be Brock Samson. The end of the last episode with all the Guild agents through the teleporter... fucking classic Brock. So good. And the car even!
And fuuuuuuck. Dean! DEAN. Dean's list of things he read to coma Hank and Hank doesn't know and Hank NEEDS to know and "they say you enter the world alone and die alone but we came into the world together" FUCK. BOYS. I MISS YOU BEING CLOSE TOO.
Also, of COURSE we got the name of the boys' mother from a... possibly sort of reliable source... and it's no one we've ever heard of and it means nothing to us.
SHEILA AND NOVIA, FUCK, THAT SCENE WAS SO GOOD
Fucking. Wide Wale's homicidal rage at the Monarch and the OH NO UH WE'RE PLAYING A GAME when his brother turned up. FUCKING TYING DR DUGONG BACK IN THIS HEAVILY.
Malcolm and Sheila's relationship problems
VENDATA MALFUNCTIONING AND TURNING BACK INTO THE BLUE MORPHO???
flails, drags hands down face
And what the shit is up with the blood soaked murder bear that turned up again, who is in that costume, why did they take Hank to Sirena, how the fuck did they KNOW WHERE TO FIND SIRENA
What is with girls being interested in both the Venture twins, anyway
I wonder what Sally's doing? We got nothing of her, or of Richard for that matter. Sally was with JJ before JJ died, wasn't she? I hope she and Rocket are doing good somewhere.
DR Z AND JOHNNY IN THE REHAB JUST BEING AWKWARD AS FUCK
All the old arches, THE DICK MEASURING CONTEST, Red Mantle and Dragoon putting off their envelope for ages but they've outlived all their enemies, aaaaa
Seeing Sheila in her prime as Lady Au Pair arching The Bride or whatever she was called was like, amazing? They expressions on their faces? They looked so happy? Sheila are you even happy anymore, I worry. I know you love Malcolm but he is like seventeen different levels of garbage fire.
FUUUUUCK WATCH AND WARD TELLING HIM THAT THEY'RE RELATED. Probably half brothers, with the flashbacks with the heavy implications that Jonas knocked up Blue Morpho's wife as his "infertility science help".
I JUST HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT ALL OF THESE TERRIBLE ASSHOLE IDIOTS WHO ARE TERRIBLE AND HAVE I MENTIONED I LOVE WATCH AND WARD
Also ho shit the guild is brutal, the end of the plotline with... what was he, S-464? and Kimberley McManus. Damn. (Additionally, the Peril Partnership are dumb as fuck if they wear identifying belt buckles, that's so visible.)
THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME BEING LAWN DARTS
THE CREEP BEING LIKE AUGUSTUS ST CLOUD WRT COLLECTING BUT VILLAIN SHIT INSTEAD OF POP CULTURE
A fucking troop of boy scouts, christ
OH ALSO, AUGUSTUS ST CLOUD BEING CONDESCENDED TO AND TROLLED BY MALCOLM AND GARY WAS A THING OF FUCKING BEAUTY. SO WAS HIM BEING BEATEN UP BY ROSE. That was definitely what he needed, he was an outsize annoying menace in previous seasons, especially in Spanakopita, it was good to see him actually being as absurdly pathetic as he truly is. ("Brock, we have a level one arching threat." "You want like, an aspirin?") Him getting the total contempt of a real villain like the Monarch was just. So good. Why does Augustus St Cloud even CARE about Billy Quizboy this much. (Eat the pennies, Quizboy.)
Hank like, fucking dissociating when he's being Enrique or Batman or whatever and also being repeatedly 'well HE has ADHD'
THE "AIR B'N'ME". HANK IS ACTUALLY WEIRDLY GOOD AT BUSINESS AND I DON'T GET IT.
It made me?? Actually like Rocco?? This is very rude??
Just. EVERYTHING.
